Monthly Archives: December 2015

Waiting

Yesterday, I was reading a book called “Stripped: When God’s Call Turns from ‘Yes!’ to ‘Why me?'” by Lina Abujamra. One of the topics that really struck me was why God has us wait for things to happen.

The four reasons were for God to “grow us”, “protect us”, “test us”, and “purify us”.

Like the author (and probably most of us), I can’t stand waiting. I can’t stand waiting to feel “good enough.” I can’t stand waiting until the day I can be “perfect” at my job. I can’t stand waiting for all anxiety to just go away.

I’ve always lived by these two mottos: “Good things come to those who wait” and “Hard work pays off”.

Cliche? Yes. But it’s the truth. A few years ago, I distorted the meaning of these mottos to sound something like this: “It takes a lot of time to see results. But with hard work, it will happen. Everything will be ‘Great’!”

Great. In my mind, great meant perfect: no anxiety, total happiness with my job, absolute perfection 24/7. I was patient, but only for perfection. That patience only lasted so long.

The more time passes, the more impatient I become. The more I STILL feel the anxiety. The more I STILL distort the meaning of the mottos. Even worse, the more I question both mottos separately.

But sometimes, in the midst of this impatience, the waiting time gives me time to allow God to “grow” me. I finally realize that we should not hope for perfection, but we should hope for the best in the future. “The best” not meaning perfection, but God’s plan to fulfill us. I am ultimately hoping for patience and peace in God’s plan. I am waiting for this hope to fulfill me.

God is “testing” me to continue letting Him give me signs of hope, signs of His presence. He’s throwing obstacles as tough love, to get me to keep being steadfast in faith, to never question His existence.

God is “protecting” me from false beliefs. He’s protecting me from forever rebelling against His plan and forcing my own instead. He’s protecting me from running from myself and my emotions. From this protection, He’s keeping me grounded in reality and focused on Him, able to distinguish the difference between Him and mankind.

Finally, God is purifying me by not allowing money, jobs, and the future on Earth to be the core values in my existence.

So what am I ultimately waiting for? I’m waiting for greater contentment and acceptance in God’s plan. I’m waiting for whatever knowledge and strength may come out of His plan. This waiting can be hard…REALLY hard. But the outcome will be worth the wait.